What is being communicated?

Click on the image to hear about Chad's Story.

What is Chad communicating?

Trauma and what is communicated by early caregivers impacts how children move forward as they grow to be adults. We witness Chad struggle with the memories that he carries with him even as an adult because of physical abuse experienced in his home growing up.

Chad describes inconsistencies in parenting that we learn in our course assignments of anxious/ambivalent attachment style, “The anxious/ambivalent style, however is fostered by inconsistent treatment from the caregiver. Sometimes the adult is loving and attentive, yet at other times she or he is indifferent or rejecting. The caregiver’s communication is not only inconsistent but also unpredictable. He or she may respond positively to something a child does on Monday and react negatively on Tuesday. Naturally, this unpredictability creates great anxiety in a child.” (Wood, 2014)

In my own research and for my final project, this video connects with:

• One of Chad's teachers recognized some of the symptoms of a child struggling with problems at home. He complained that he had stomach problems and just seemed lost, “the use of harsh punishments, inconsistent discipline and rigid control over the child’s behaviour, are associated with more internalizing problems.” (Fuentes et. al., 2015)

• At Chad’s young age, he experienced trauma, yet showed resilience, “In the words of Perry (1996, p. 271), ‘It is an ultimate irony that at the time when the human is most vulnerable to the effects of trauma, during infancy and childhood, adults generally presume the most resilience.’” (Markese, 2011)

• We never hear of Chad’s mother, though he describes her getting her head bashed in by his father. She has clearly experienced trauma herself, “When attachment status changes, it is likely because the child experienced a traumatic event. Securely attached infants whose mothers reported one or more traumatic event were four times more likely to change to an insecure attachment classification than secure infants whose mothers reported no traumatic life events.” (Markese, 2011) Chad says the only person who came to his graduation was the coach. Clearly Chad and his mother's attachment is lacking.

Something else communicated is the hope from others who are ready to save the child.

Common humanity tells us that we want to believe that a child can be saved and that all is not lost. Whether it is from a foster/adoptive parent, therapist, or the local school coach, what we communicate to children and young adults can save a life. It takes a village.

Caregivers are thought to be critical in helping children develop adaptive coping strategies, yet many maltreated children have poor and/or insecure relationships with their parents. A quality relationship with a caring, non-parental adult (e.g., a mentor), however, may be one strategy to promote healthy coping among maltreated children. (Chesmore, et. al., 2017) “Mentors can provide children with a sense of safety, dedication, and nurturance to children who are recovering from earlier traumatic experiences. (Lowenthal, 1999) 'Therapeutic caregiving' can assist youth in developing a sense of trust and remaining open to positive learning emotional experiences. (Lowenthal, 1999) These respected older adults can teach social skills, model behavior, give positive or negative reinforcement, and introduce young people to diverse social interactions and contexts. (Newman, 2002)” (Day, 2006)

Ultimately, good communication applied to an “authoritative parenting [or mentoring for that matter] style has been associated with better progress among children (Walsh & Walsh 1990; Perkins-Mangulabnan & Flynn 2006; Oosterman et al. 2007; Jiménez & Palacios 2009) and fewer behaviour problems. (Lipscombe et al. 2003)” (Fuentes et. al., 2015)

"Research is creating new knowledge." ~Neil Armstrong

Before my research, I had basic knowledge of the impact of childhood trauma and knew of the communication barriers dealing with children who have experienced trauma. I live with two adopted children who battle it every day. What interested me the most in my research is the repeated and consistent evidence that a secure attachment style is realized by an authoritative parenting style. It is a reminder that reasonable demands need to be balanced with plenty of responsiveness. Think of the coach in the video. He coached Chad implying a certain demand as a football player. Yet, at the very end of the video, the scene fads out and you hear the coach’s voice, “I am so proud of you.”

This blog assignment has given me a little more hope that for those who are willing to help, whether it is a new adoptive parent or the local high school coach, that effective communication styles will make a positive difference in these children’s lives. Moving forward, I want to make sure that I take the topic in a positive direction for believing that the new family dynamic equipped with effective communication can result in a positive outcome. It is easy to get bogged down with the negative impact of childhood trauma and what is communicated, and I want to make sure I allow for evidence that gives hope for the future.

Because “success against the odds” (Day, 2006) is possible.

For more stories-

• If you were inspired by Chad's video, don't miss the story of Unique. Link

• Want to know how we, as a society, will likely have to address a similar issue? Watch the video from MSNBC regarding the impact of separating immigrant children from their parents. Link

#childabuse, #ittakesavillage, #fostertoadopt, #kidsarelistening

References:

Chesmore, A. A., Weiler, L. M., & Taussig, H. N. (2017). Mentoring Relationship Quality and Maltreated Children’s Coping. American Journal of Community Psychology, 60(1/2), 229–241. Retrieved from https://doi-org.proxy.lib.odu.edu/10.1002/ajcp.12151

Day, Angelique. (2006). The Power of Social Support: Mentoring and Resilience. (2006). Reclaiming Children & Youth, 14(4), 196–198. Retrieved from http://proxy.lib.odu.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=19719023&site=ehost-live&scope=site

Fuentes, M. J., Salas, M. D., Bernedo, I. M., & García, M. M. A. (2015). Impact of the Parenting Style of Foster Parents on the Behaviour Problems of Foster Children. Child: Care, Health & Development, 41(5), 704–711. Retrieved from https://doi-org.proxy.lib.odu.edu/10.1111/cch.12215

Markese, S. (2011). Dyadic Trauma in Infancy and Early Childhood: Review of the Literature. Journal of Infant, Child & Adolescent Psychotherapy, 10(2/3), 341–378. Retrieved from https://doi-org.proxy.lib.odu.edu/10.1080/15289168.2011.600214

U.S. Department of Justice and Futures Without Violence. (2018). Reunited Films. Retrieved from https://changingmindsnow.org/stories

Wood, J. (2014). Communication Mosaics. (7th ed). Belmont, CA: Cengage Learning. ISBN-13: 9780840028181